Thursday, October 29, 2015

Cool Things Please Happen Today

I need a cool thing to happen today. All the things that are happening today are not cool. Or, maybe I have a bad attitude. Or, maybe I am stuck in a rut. Today is the kind of day I want to fast forward through. Not because it is hard but because it is boring. I guess being boring makes it hard. Because I am tired and I think I am getting my period and I would much rather be home eating Indian food and drinking wine and imagining myself as an adult being successful and busy but also incredibly fulfilled. But then I think. I am an adult. I saw a friend on social media talking about a play she directed at Harvard. I got really jealous. I want to direct a play at Harvard. I want to post an article about my directing job at Harvard and say something like "I'll take what he says about art for art's sake as a complement...ha ha ha." I didn't read the whole article but I guess she was too edgy for Harvard? I don't know. Anyway, it got a lot of comments. The last thing I posted on Facebook asked people to send me their bacon. Sometimes I think I tried to do too many things so I never was successful at one thing. Is that what people tell themselves when they aren't good at one thing? I like to send out stuff to people. I fantasize that on a boring day like this I will get an email that says my play is being produced and I am being paid thousands for it. Then I can post something coy on Facebook. I'll pretend not to care but I'll check the comments incessantly. People at school will be nicer to me and I'll be really humble. Then that show will parlay into another show and that will parlay into writing for TV. Then the TV company will ask me to move to Hollywood but I'll say no because I want to finish my PhD. And they will be shocked that someone so funny and talented is also so smart and would be willing to give up a TV career for academic pursuits. But I'll shrug it off as I usually do because I am so humble, you know. This is the thought that gets me through the day. This what I hope will happen to me today.

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