First Kiss

My dad didn’t have any money when I was growing up. Or now. Or ever. But he wanted to live in a house. So, he rented. At first my sister and I shared a room and my dad lived in the second bedroom. Later, my dad moved into the room with us and we got a roommate. The roommate was a man and he had a son named Colin. Colin and I would build forts with sleeping bags and blankets. We would stay in the fort and tell each other stories. His dad must have been poor also. I guess. Colin’s dad moved out and one day Colin showed up at my school. I was mean to him because he knew me in a different way than other kids did. So I told him to stay away from me. And he did. In high school we became friends. I don’t know how. I was popular then and nice to people so it seemed reasonable I would have been nice to him. He was a “dirt” which meant he hung out on the front lawn of the school. I floated between the dirts and the quaddies, the hippies and the jocks. We went to prom together when I was a fifteen and he told me he liked me. I was scared and I told him I just wanted to be friends. I liked Sam and Sam liked Alysia so eventually Sam told me not to come around anymore and Colin was my shoulder to cry on. Colin and I eventually held hands but I didn’t know how to kiss and I knew he did so I was scared. One day he came over after work and laid on top of me. I told him I had just eaten meatloaf so we couldn’t kiss today. A few days later he told me that I needed to let him kiss me or else we could never be together. I closed my eyes and put my lips together. He kissed them quickly. I felt like I was going to throw up. He said it was a start and ran out of the car. I knew what we had done was not real kissing. He dumped me a few days later.