Heaven

I saw this 20/20 episode about heaven and it really scared me. What do you think happens when you die? All these people said they had been to heaven but they all had different versions of it. Most mentioned a white light, but some said they went down a hallway and some said they walked through a field and one said that she was walking up a huge staircase and there were all these cats and dogs coming down the stairs and they were really happy. And she said she would pull their tails and it would make them even happier. What kind of person goes around pulling the tails of cats? And if you are walking up to the gates of heaven, why are you fucking with a bunch of cats? I don’t think that’s the kind of stuff that gets you into heaven. Some people say that what these people are experiencing is their brain dying. I’m scared to die. I haven’t been the best person either. And do you think that these angels watch you when you masturbate? I don’t want to have to watch people masturbate. Sometimes I think about that as I am masturbating. I guess they don’t care, but still. And what if God is just like a bad boss? You know, you have to sort of do whatever he wants and laugh at his dumb jokes, and you know that when there is a big meeting coming up he is going to get hyper critical and start micromanaging you. And you know you could do the job better than him, but you can’t say anything because he’s super sensitive. Man, I hope it’s a good place. Better than here at least.