Adulthood

Adulthood isn’t really what I thought it would be. I mean, when I was younger I thought by twenty I would be married with kids. When I was twenty I thought by thirty I would have a great job and be a success. I’m thirty-five now and I don’t have any expectations for my forties. I hope that I have some job. I hope that maybe I’m in a relationship. I don’t want kids anymore and I don’t plan on being too successful. Do people retire in their sixties? Or seventies? How am I supposed to save up enough money to retire? I remember when I was young and my mom used to stay out all night and when she got home she would say “I never had a childhood.” I was mad at her. I didn’t choose to be born. She must have chosen that, right? I thought she should take care of me. But I sort of get it now. Stuff just happens and then you make the best of it. Like, I think about how my dad worked at 7-11 and the tobacco shop and I used to think he was so much more qualified than that. He was an adult. These jobs were for kids. But I guess he wasn’t. He was just some forty-year old dude who never got his shit together. I see a lot of those dudes around and I hope I don’t end up with one. But, at the same time, I sort of relate to them. And some of them are nice.