Ashes

I can never find good movies on Netflix. I guess I watch too much tv because when it takes me to the section of recently watched there is always a lot of stuff in it. So I guess maybe the problem is that I can’t find anything new to watch. Sometimes I look for actors I like and then I find movies that way. That’s a good way to find movies. Lots of times the movies I like only have one or two stars. I guess other Netflix users don’t like the things I like. That’s okay. I feel like the Netflix rating system is rigged anyway. I recently watched a movie where some fat lady got skinny and then carried around her burnt up skin in a vial around her neck. It wasn’t as creepy as it sounds. But the whole time I was thinking…that’s not a very big vial. I mean, for a whole bunch of loose skin. I watch a lot of weight loss shows so I feel pretty confident about my assessment. Then at the end of the movie some other lady spread her dead husband’s ashes in the ocean. They made it funny and the dead husband was an asshole but I guess she put his ashes in her friend’s Tupperware and the friend was kind of mad because it was part of a set. But when my mom died the funeral home put her ashes in a box for us. It was a shitty box because we were broke and inside the box was a plastic bag and when my sister and I spread her ashes we had to put them in something more aesthetically pleasing but we didn’t think about it until the last minute so we had to put them in a birthday gift bag we found in my sister’s car. And we transferred the ashes into the gift bag in the parking lot and some of them flew onto the sidewalk. So I guess a little piece of my mom is still there. But in the movie she put them in a Tupperware container which means that either she transferred her husband’s ashes from one shitty box to another or the funeral home just handed her a bunch of ashes. Like with their hands. Into her hands. I thought about it a lot. And then I wondered what I’d like to happen to me when I die. I feel like it would be silly to bury me in a box that will eventually just have some building over it or something. And I don’t think I am going to have any kids to visit my grave or anything. The thought of burning sounds pretty awful and I think they mix you up with other people. I think I’d like to decompose in the woods and just be brought back into the cycle of life. But probably a hiker would find me and they’d think I was murdered and then there would be an investigation into my murder and eventually someone would go to jail for dumping me in the woods. So I guess I’ll take being burned. And then hope I have someone who wants to spread my ashes.